I share a lot about my struggles from 2018 because I know my experience will help other mothers of small children who are trying to balance motherhood, life, and business. I know my story will inspire another broken-hearted wife trying to do it all while building up her self-esteem. 2018 was probably one of the most trying years I’ve ever had in my adulthood. It was a constant battle.
While I spent time trying to make sense of situations that didn’t seem normal, it was hard to be normal. I had to learn how to adapt to life-changing experiences that were unraveling. I couldn’t control the things that were happening. I could only control the way I handled the situation. Some days I was a complete mess, and on other days, I was a superwoman. I was in a season of pruning and grieving. It was painful. And to outsiders looking in, it seemed like I was “off”, but I was growing through what I was going through. I didn’t cover up my pain. I didn’t drink or smoke my way through the pain, I endured it. I prayed my way through it.
I experienced a lot of traumatic experiences back to back, and I didn’t want to hide or run away from my issues. I knew people were gossiping, speculating, and criticizing me. I knew people were misjudging and saying things about me as a wife and mother. Conversations I had in private were shared with other people. I stopped reaching out for help because some people caused more harm.
I’m not the type of woman who’d laugh about another woman’s pain, no matter how much I dislike her, but it was being done to me. I was being blamed and accused of things that I didn’t do.
People were looking at me like I was crazy when I spoke my mind or yelled. I projected anger but I spoke truth. I was vulnerable but I vocal. People probably thought I was too weak to rise above it, but I did. The trials I went through were humiliating, devastating, and confusing. But two years later, I’m living a completely different lifestyle. When you go through a traumatic experience, healing is important. It’s important to grow through it and learn from it. When I started shifting relationships and stopped worrying about what others were saying, I started building myself up. I wanted to heal in a healthy way, and I did. I wanted to prosper from the pain, and I did. I wanted to break free from feeling like a victim, and I did. If you’re going through something and you feel alone, know that you have a choice to walk away or stay. You have a choice to heal or stay broken. Only you can make the decision that is best for you and your children. Seek help and confide in someone who will help you through. You have the right to guard your heart and to protect your space. No matter what anybody says, normalizing any kind of abuse and infidelity is NOT ok.