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Bonding and Knowing Your Child

I have a strong and deep bond with my daughter, and she can’t even talk yet!

It all started inside the womb.

I read articles and spoke to other mothers about how important it is to bond with your unborn baby while they are in your womb. Now that I look back, I’m so glad I did. When I got far enough in the pregnancy where she could hear, I made sure I spoke to her about different things so she would recognize my voice when she was born. I read books, poems, scriptures, prayed and sang to her. I told her about my day, and I always told her how happy I was to be pregnant with her.

In addition to verbal bonding, I rubbed my belly and played with her. Every time she nudged or kicked; I pushed my belly a little bit so she would respond.

I visited her every single day in NICU which helped with the bonding. She knows that I am her mother. She can recognize my voice out of other voices. If someone is holding her, and I walk pass by, she will look up to watch me. When she smiles, it just melts my heart. I know she’s happy, loved and she feels comfortable. I know her cries. I can tell when she’s fake crying and even make her smile and laugh while she’s crying. I have a certain way of feeding her the bottle and voice that I use when it’s just us. My goal was and is to make sure she knows her mother.

As she gets older, I will do my best to continue that bond.

Below, I’ve listed five ways you can bond with your baby.

  1. Talking: Talk to your baby. Let them know how your day went. Try to keep it positive. Talk to your baby about your surroundings and life. You can also read and sing.

  2. Feeding: Feeding is probably the most intimate bonds is feeding, especially when you are nursing. The few times I was able to nurse, were the best. The bond is beautiful. You just feel like you are providing your baby with the best health they will ever have. You feel like you are doing what God created you to do. Your breasts were made for feeding, so if you are able to, that will be the best thing you can ever do for your child. If your child takes the bottle, making eye contact is the best way. Eventually, your baby will make eye contact with you anyway, so just embrace that.

  3. Facial Expressions: Make facial expressions. Smile, make silly faces, stick out your tongue. Your baby will eventually mimic your facial expressions. Once I got my daughter to stick out her tongue, that is the one thing she will do so I can respond. I will stick my tongue out, and she will just smile and laugh. That is her little way of communicating. And, if she sticks her tongue out to a strange face, that means she likes them, or at least is comfortable with them holding her.

  4. Holding: Hugs and holding, your baby brings so much love and comfort to your baby. They need the attention. They need the affection.

  5. Time: Spend as much time with your baby as you can! Put your phone down. Get off social media, put your phone on silent or turn it off for 30 minutes while your baby is awake and active. Ultimately, your child comes before anybody. We need money to live comfortably, but money isn’t more important than your baby.

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